Karpman Drama Triangle is Alive and Well
Blog Warning. You may find out something about yourself and….I had trouble keeping to a word limit on this post. I’m not apologizing, it’s just a warning. Have you come across old school management operating in a contemporary paradigm? Why does poor leadership or management behaviour get rewarded?
That’s right, these behaviours physically wrench the guts out of people. This negatively impacts on the employees personal lives,reduces performance, productivity and finally results in resignation. This then costs the customer in the long term.
In the corporate, government and small business world poor management practice exists and will for a long time yet to come. I’m being upfront. Simply covert and overt dysfunction and conflict is not managed well.
One thing that you must understand is this. You must understand the interplay. If you don’t, you will be played, and the injuries and losses are not pretty.
The Karpman Drama Triangle was originally conceived by Stephen Karpman and was used to plot the interplay and behavioural moves between 2 or more people in conflict. I suggest you read his work.
The most common office and project team game that I observe is the game called the "Dysfunctional Triad". There are three players: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer.
What makes this dysfunctional triad game interesting is that everyone changes roles. Yes Really...
In fact this model is used to describe bullying in schools and to help kids change their behaviours. This model is also used in domestic violence counselling. The paradigm has enormous merit.
I have shared this model to most of my clients and teams. Why? So I empower them with the knowledge and self-awareness to regulate their own choices. I am a great fan of those who accept ownership, accountability and responsibility. They are inspiring and admiring qualities.
I guarantee, we have all played the roles at some time in our work lives….that's if you’re really upfront with yourself. I hope that most of you recognize it. Your job as manager or leader is to ensure others understand the triad. Spend a good half an hour with your team on it. Refer them to this post. Get them talking about it.
Drive them, enable them, empower them…..
When I was managing projects I often discussed this model in the early days when people start whining, criticizing or defending others.
Below are typical statements, I’m sure you have your own examples. If you’re part of the conversation, you could be part of the triangle. Triangles are reinforced by the three sides.
THE DYSFUNCTIONALTRIAD
Victim ("it was better under the old regime or project")
Persecutor (someone representing the cause of the Victim's apparent misery. ("Just do it!" You are being moved
regardless), insensitive ("I don't care if…..)
Saviour The Saviour expresses concern ("yes, I know, I know,”), offers help ("I'll finish the job for you, it’s awful
what they have done, they shouldn’t do that), and is the go-to person for everything, often and also
known as the rescuer
The key is to be aware and not play the game.
ACTION
By actually talking action you get closer to what you really want in your work life.
Remember if nothing changes…. nothing changes....we facilitate more effective and productive meetings... that's our difference!!! No dramas, just accountability...
Journey well,
Matt Cartwright
Inspiring People, Inspiring Business, Inspiring Results
© Copyright 2008 -12
Blog Warning. You may find out something about yourself and….I had trouble keeping to a word limit on this post. I’m not apologizing, it’s just a warning. Have you come across old school management operating in a contemporary paradigm? Why does poor leadership or management behaviour get rewarded?
- Do you know what I mean?
- Have you seen it?
- Have you experienced it?
That’s right, these behaviours physically wrench the guts out of people. This negatively impacts on the employees personal lives,reduces performance, productivity and finally results in resignation. This then costs the customer in the long term.
In the corporate, government and small business world poor management practice exists and will for a long time yet to come. I’m being upfront. Simply covert and overt dysfunction and conflict is not managed well.
One thing that you must understand is this. You must understand the interplay. If you don’t, you will be played, and the injuries and losses are not pretty.
The Karpman Drama Triangle was originally conceived by Stephen Karpman and was used to plot the interplay and behavioural moves between 2 or more people in conflict. I suggest you read his work.
The most common office and project team game that I observe is the game called the "Dysfunctional Triad". There are three players: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer.
What makes this dysfunctional triad game interesting is that everyone changes roles. Yes Really...
In fact this model is used to describe bullying in schools and to help kids change their behaviours. This model is also used in domestic violence counselling. The paradigm has enormous merit.
I have shared this model to most of my clients and teams. Why? So I empower them with the knowledge and self-awareness to regulate their own choices. I am a great fan of those who accept ownership, accountability and responsibility. They are inspiring and admiring qualities.
I guarantee, we have all played the roles at some time in our work lives….that's if you’re really upfront with yourself. I hope that most of you recognize it. Your job as manager or leader is to ensure others understand the triad. Spend a good half an hour with your team on it. Refer them to this post. Get them talking about it.
Drive them, enable them, empower them…..
When I was managing projects I often discussed this model in the early days when people start whining, criticizing or defending others.
Below are typical statements, I’m sure you have your own examples. If you’re part of the conversation, you could be part of the triangle. Triangles are reinforced by the three sides.
THE DYSFUNCTIONALTRIAD
Victim ("it was better under the old regime or project")
Persecutor (someone representing the cause of the Victim's apparent misery. ("Just do it!" You are being moved
regardless), insensitive ("I don't care if…..)
Saviour The Saviour expresses concern ("yes, I know, I know,”), offers help ("I'll finish the job for you, it’s awful
what they have done, they shouldn’t do that), and is the go-to person for everything, often and also
known as the rescuer
The key is to be aware and not play the game.
- Think about how this might occur in your work area.
- What is your preferred role?
- When does it change?
ACTION
By actually talking action you get closer to what you really want in your work life.
- What roles do you play work?
- What roles do your team members play?
- Who are they?
- What behaviours need to stop?
- What behaviours need to start occurring?
- What behaviours will you change in yourself?
Remember if nothing changes…. nothing changes....we facilitate more effective and productive meetings... that's our difference!!! No dramas, just accountability...
Journey well,
Matt Cartwright
Inspiring People, Inspiring Business, Inspiring Results
© Copyright 2008 -12
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